BACK TO WORK
Therapy for Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave
Therapy for the return from maternity leave: guilt and relief, pumping and childcare plans, work boundaries and the sense that the person going back isn't quite who left.
BCBS · Optum · Harvard Pilgrim · United · Aetna · Cigna in-network
MORE THAN ONE FEELING
What Does Therapy for Returning to Work Help With?
Some stress and sadness is expected as leave ends. But postpartum depression or anxiety can begin any time in the first year after birth (ACOG), so notice what isn't easing.
Therapy for returning to work after maternity leave helps with the guilt, anxiety, grief and practical pressure of the change, from pumping breaks to childcare handoffs. Ashti Mistry, LICSW, a working mother herself, meets with parents by secure video in Massachusetts and Rhode Island. Many start a few weeks before their first day back.
Many parents find it helps to start therapy a few weeks before their first day back.
IT MAY BE MORE THAN ADJUSTMENT IF
- It isn't easing after a few weeks
- You can't sleep even when you can
- You feel hopeless or numb most days
- Scary, unwanted thoughts about your baby keep coming
- Your anger is frightening you
- You don't feel like yourself
- Guilt is constant, whatever you choose
WHAT WE CAN WORK ON
What Can We Work On?
Parent and Professional
Parent and professional can feel like two people who haven't met yet. We can help them meet when work feels unfamiliar.
Guilt Both Ways
"I feel guilty if I want to go back, and guilty if I don't." Guilt shows up where values pull apart; the values bullseye can help sort what matters now.
Boundaries at Work
Saying no, leaving on time, protecting pumping breaks and not proving yourself twice over. The conversation can be as specific as one pumping break.
Load at Home
Who does daycare pickup, remembers the forms, gets up at night? We can work on dividing it so it doesn't all land on you, even on a workday.
Handing Over Care
Handing your baby to a caregiver can feel physically wrong at first, even with a good childcare plan. We work with that feeling, not against it.
After a Hard Start
If your baby spent time in the NICU or you went through a loss, going back can bring it all up again.
No Right Feeling
Some parents grieve the end of leave; others are glad to have adult conversation and a hot coffee again. Most are somewhere in between, and that can change from day to day.
Unfamiliar to Yourself
You may be returning to a familiar workplace while feeling unfamiliar to yourself. "I don't recognize myself at work anymore."
In Parents' Words
"I cry every Sunday night." "I feel so far behind, like everyone moved on without me." "I was relieved to be back, and then I felt terrible for being relieved."
Going Back Differently
If you're not going back, or you're going back differently than planned (fewer hours, a new role, a different job), those choices bring their own mix of feelings too.
Pumping and Childcare
"Pumping in a supply closet between meetings is wearing me down." "I'm scared about childcare, and about missing everything."
Maybe It's More
If the signs above sound familiar, they can point to postpartum depression or anxiety. Read more about postpartum depression therapy.
FROM A WORKING MOM
What Worries Come Up?
The worries I hear most often start with guilt: Will the baby forget about me? Some even feel guilty they're excited to go back to work and not be home with baby. Then there's the practical side: Where will I pump, clean parts and store milk? There's a lot of childcare scheduling that becomes very stressful for parents as well.
When we talk, I'll ask how long it's been, whether you've been asking for help, and whether you've been able to do things for yourself.
Being a working mother is really hard. I find it hard juggling my three kids, their activities, the household, my work and finding time to do things that make me happy. Truthfully, some days are harder than others, but guess what: we get to do it again and try to make the next day better.
People can either be really excited to go back or be dreading it; both are OK! Try doing a practice run: spend a longer stretch of time away from your baby and see how you do. If you're still nursing, figure out how to pump and store the milk. Talk about any worries and fears you have with your partner or support people.
Going back to work is one of many life transitions I help people through.
LEAVE AND RESOURCES
What About PFML Leave?
I'm not a lawyer, and this isn't legal advice, but these are good places to start. Massachusetts Paid Family and Medical Leave (PFML) explains the types of leave, including how medical leave for pregnancy or recovery from childbirth can be followed by family leave to bond with your baby (Mass.gov: Types of PFML). Massachusetts Legal Help has a plain-language guide to PFML, including your right to return to your job (Massachusetts Legal Help).
If a perinatal mental health condition keeps you from working, you may be able to take PFML medical leave if you're an eligible Massachusetts worker and a health care provider certifies it.
Insurance. I'm in-network with Aetna, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Cigna, Harvard Pilgrim, Optum and UnitedHealthcare. Call the member services number on your card to check outpatient mental health benefits for telehealth. I'm not in-network with Rhode Island plans, so Rhode Island clients can pay privately, and I can provide a superbill.
Softer Landing Tips
- Start midweek if you can for a softer landing
- Free 15-minute consultation
- Plan one small thing for yourself
- Lower the bar at home
- Private pay. $200 per session. See services and pricing for all fees and your right to a Good Faith Estimate.
- Babies and young children welcome in sessions
- Name a check-in date, say four or six weeks in
TRUSTED BY COLLEAGUES
What Colleagues Are Saying
Endorsements from fellow clinicians on Ashti's Psychology Today profile.
I have nothing but wonderful things to say about Ashti! She is professional, compassionate and works hard to ensure all of her client's needs are met.
Kayla Butt, MSW, LICSWClinical Social Work/TherapistPsychology Today endorsement Ashti is a wonderful therapist who has a warm, empathetic presence. She is always thoughtful about meeting her clients where they are, and helping them use their strengths to make meaningful changes in their lives.
Madeline Waife, LICSWClinical Social Work/TherapistPsychology Today endorsement Ashti is a exceptional therapist who is passionate about the work she does. She demonstrates a great capacity of understanding and empathy allowing her to connect with her clients and help them achieve their goals.
Sarah Liming, LICSWClinical Social Work/TherapistPsychology Today endorsement Ashti has a way of making people feel truly seen and understood. Her warmth, insight, and cultural awareness create a space where clients can open up, make sense of what they're going through, and move forward with more clarity and confidence.
Paradise Health Services LLCPsychiatric Nurse Practitioner, PMHNP, AGNP, APRNPsychology Today endorsement I highly recommend Ashti to anyone seeking compassionate, welcoming and effective mental health support. She has a wide range of professional experience and a great tool set that very clearly benefits her clients!
Jennifer Royster, LICSWClinical Social Work/TherapistPsychology Today endorsement
FAQ
Questions
Is there an online therapist in Massachusetts for moms going back to work after maternity leave?
Yes. I'm Ashti Mistry, LICSW, Founder & Clinical Director of Bee Insightful Therapy, a mother, and I help parents through the return to work by secure video anywhere in Massachusetts and Rhode Island. I'm in-network with Aetna, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Cigna, Harvard Pilgrim, Optum and UnitedHealthcare.
Is it normal to feel anxious or guilty about going back to work?
Yes. Anxiety, guilt, grief and even relief are all common as leave ends, often all in the same week. Feelings that ease over the first few weeks are usually part of adjusting.
How do I know if it's postpartum depression and not just adjustment?
If low mood, anxiety, rage or trouble sleeping isn't easing after a few weeks back, or if you feel hopeless or numb most days, it may be postpartum depression or anxiety. A therapist or your doctor can help you sort it out.
Can a postpartum mental health condition extend my leave in Massachusetts?
A perinatal mental health condition may qualify for Paid Family and Medical Leave as medical leave if it keeps you from working, you're an eligible Massachusetts worker, and a health care provider certifies it. Mass.gov has the current PFML rules, and your HR team or a legal aid resource can advise on your situation.
Does my insurance cover therapy for returning to work?
Often, yes. I'm in-network with Aetna, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Cigna, Harvard Pilgrim, Optum and UnitedHealthcare, and your cost depends on your plan. For private pay, sessions are $200. I'm not in-network with Rhode Island plans.
BEFORE YOUR FIRST DAY BACK
Start the Conversation Before Your First Day Back
Free 15-minute consultation, or call (617) 603-0630.
For video sessions, be physically in Massachusetts or Rhode Island.